March 14, 2022

Looks like we might have Cuomo to kick around some more



Since Edward Morrison Morley has sworn off anything Cuomo for the foreseeable future, Mr Ardmore has been prevailed upon to step into the breach, so to speak. We’ll see how long Mr. Ardmore can stick it out. — Ed.

REGRETFULLY, TLD has been forced to re-open its Cuomo X-rated Files (cue ominous music in the background). Mr. Andrew Mark Cuomo (Respect Women Party, N.Y.) once upon a time derided Orange Man (Respect Women Party, N.Y. and Fla.) for doing nothing (“not one iota”) about sexual harassment (though this wasn’t strictly speaking true ... if even a fraction of various and sundry reports dredged up in 2015–2020 about Orange Man’s conduct with women was veracious). One has to argue — again, if only a fraction of the materials and reports dredged up in 2019-2021 by N.Y. Attorney General Letitia James (Respect Me Party, N.Y.) is true — that Randy Andy did do something about sexual harassment. [Note that Mr. Ardmore makes fun of Cuomo merely because of his poetogenic first name. What would he have done had Mr. Cuomo’s given name been Edgar? Or Nicholas for that matter? — Ed.]

Then on August 24, 2021, A. Cuomo went sailing ungracefully into what all and sundry hoped would be permanent oblivion, or at least a part-time lectureship in law and politics at some Ivy League university. This was followed by his unspeakable brother, Chris, being shown the door at CNN in December 2021, with his publisher announcing it would not “be going forward” with his book on COVID and the presidency of Orange Man, and with Chris being accused of out-of-wedlock coitus by several women. (Whether the book would have included an account of “a hallucination of his dead father, former New York Governor Mario Cuomo, as a result of symptoms” from COVID is not known. And whether, like Jacob Marley, this visit from a Cuomo Past resulted in true repentance is not known either.) However that may be, it was no accident — as Stalin used to say — that Andy and Chris’s grandparents were from Southern Italy and Sicily. (The cockles of connoisseurs of things Southern Italian will be warmed by the announcement that “The Godfather” will be re-released in theaters later this month. Coincidence? I think not.) At any rate, it looked as though we were finally rid of what was arguably an even worse plague than COVID as the Cuomo brothers sank into the sunset.

Alas, it was not to be. Now, like the fabled Richard Milhous Nixon and Count Dracula, Andrew Cuomo is baack!!! According to the Wall Street Journal, March 6, 2022, the licentious Mr. Cuomo recently “spoke at a church on Sunday and deplored ‘cancel culture’ for driving him out of Albany and for his brother Chris’s firing from CNN.” The church, which the unwary might have assumed is a mainline Catholic church in keeping with Choir Boy Andy’s professed adherence to the Roman Catholic Church, or at least the cafeteria-style church — you know, the “Select your preferred dogmas from the Menu pasted in the back of your prayer book” church presided over by Pope Franny — turns out to be something called God's Battalion of Prayer Church in Brooklyn. The church is an independent outfit founded in 1959 by an immigrant from Barbados. Its statement of What We Believe boils down to taking Jesus as its model.

According to more or less lefty Politico, Cuomo spoke to “a crowd” estimated at “several dozen people,” and “assured the audience he’s been leaning on scripture in a difficult time.” Regrettably, he did not allow that he had leaned on scripture in connection with assessing his career as a serial sexual harasser. since he once more asserted that “he wasn’t aware he was making any of his former female aides ‘feel uncomfortable’ in instances they viewed as sexual harassment, and he again apologized for being unaware that his behavior was politically incorrect.” Possibly Theologian Andrew is leaning on a condensed version of scripture, such as the Jefferson Bible (sic).

And why was he there in Brooklyn? “It was probably the toughest time of my life,” Cuomo told the assembled masses. “I haven’t spoken about it in public yet because I wanted to talk about it here with you because God’s guidance is helping me through.” Ooops! Sounds as if young Andrew is on the road to conversion from Catholicism to, to, to whatever the God's Battalion of Prayer Church is.

The Journal pointed out that the truth of the matter is that “Mr. Cuomo canceled himself by resigning,” instead of defending himself in court or against a state legislature impeachment. And a CBS News story on March 10, 2022, reported that a poll showed Cuomo trailing his replacement, Gov. Kathy Hochul by only 33 percent to 37 percent “if he were to challenge Hochul in New York’s Democratic primary.” The horror! The horror! Hochul (Silly Party, N.Y.) had wisely made haste to point out when she replaced Cuomo: “I think it’s very clear that the governor and I have not been close.” Obviously, avoiding contact with Cuomo was and is a wise policy for any female in New York.

Unfortunately for New Yorkers idiotic enough to think Hochul would be better politically than Cuomo, she has pursued the same regressive policies as her predecessor sans the molesting of women. Interestingly, Hochul’s husband is senior vice president, general counsel, and secretary to Delaware North Companies, a hospitality and gambling company, so there might be some unsavory laundry there. Doubtless if there is, the Cuomos will exploit it. Delaware North, despite its name, is located in Buffalo, N.Y., and employs 55,000 worldwide. One might presume the Hochuls are part of the legendary 1 percent ruling class and might even be part of the lizard-people conspiracy. (In this regard, examination of her official, multi-dimpled portrait might repay close study.) Whether Andrew Cuomo (who is 64 years old) and Chris Cuomo (who is only 51) will reincarnate soon only Beelzebub knows, but don’t be surprised if they do. Ω

March 14, 2022

Published in 2022 by WTM Enterprises.

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