Here's a final tap of the hammer I orginally meant to provide in the column but somehow wound up omitting. If we are to take the commercial seriously at all, we've got to wonder just how our head-tossing little hedonists will react when they prance into First Missionary Church expecting to par-tayyyy — doo-wacka-wacka — only to find out who this "J.C." really is: "Oh, no, it's that Jesus guy. You know, liyeeek, in the Bible? Borrr-ring!"

What is First Missionary Church going to have to do then to keep them and their hormones interested? That's when the real horror story starts.

— NS

January 12, 2002

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