THE LAST DITCH -- Douglas Olson — FREAK SHOW #22


Freak show #22
The law really is a ass:
The morons and thieves who govern us



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"The kind of man who wants the government to adopt and enforce his ideas is always the kind of man whose ideas are idiotic."

— H.L. Mencken

A lesson in tolerance

The San Francisco Board of Supervisors has voted unanimously to condemn the Catholic Church for opposing adoption of children by homosexual couples. Catholic teachings were officially damned as "hateful," "discriminatory," "insulting," and "show[ing] a level of insensitivity and ignorance." The supervisors further demonstrated their commitment to diversity and tolerance by declaring, "It is an insult to all San Franciscans when a foreign country, like the Vatican, meddles with and attempts to negatively influence this great city's existing and established customs and traditions, such as the right of same-sex couples to adopt and care for children in need." Prior to San Francisco, the cities best known for such "established customs and traditions" were Sodom and Gomorrah.

Stupid legislative trick

Maryland residents are facing a possible 72 percent increase in their electricity bills, thanks to the incredible ignorance and perfidy of the state legislature. The situation has arisen because rate caps on electric utilities, imposed by the pols in 1999 as part of a purported deregulation package, are now expiring. According to the current governor — who was not in office at the time — the entire fiasco was predicated on the assumption that competition would develop among electricity suppliers, and that would keep prices down after the caps were gone. Unfortunately for Marylanders, their elected ignoramuses overlooked the fact that artificially imposed prices always discourage competition, and no competition of significance has developed in the past six years.

New Orleans car caper

Mayor Ray Nagin, the loudmouthed leader of New Orleans, rejected a reported offer by a car-crushing company to pay $100 for each flood-ruined auto it dragged out of his city. The firm estimated it would take 15 weeks to remove all the wrecks and the deal would allow the Big Easy to realize a profit of about $5 million. Instead, Nagin favors another company's proposal to take six months and charge $1,000 per car, resulting in a $23 million cost to the city. Anyone who doesn't believe there is a hefty kickback or some hidden tie between the mayor and the latter company just doesn't understand politics.

The white sickness

When the owner of the minor-league Portland (Maine) Sea Dogs baseball team offered to donate four statues depicting a family walking to a game, the proposed gift received a less than gracious response from the local Public Art Committee.

The committee worried that the statues don't reflect the "diversity" of Portland, which is 91.3 percent white according to the latest census figures. Vice Chairman Jack Soley complained that the city has enough "white folks on pedestals." Committee member Jay York chimed in, "There's so much statuary in Portland that represents white, Anglo-Saxon people. We want to encourage strong, interesting public art that the city of Portland can enjoy for years to come."

Why do these white-guilt-ridden malcontents live in such a lily-white city? In the good old days, officials who expressed such attitudes would have been emphatically invited by the local populace to relocate to a more "diverse" venue — such as Mississippi, or Africa.

(It turns out that Portland actually does enjoy the blessings of diversity. Just a few weeks later, during a pro-illegal immigration rally there, a white was assaulted and bloodied by a masked Hispanic teenager.)

The more politicians change, the more they stay the same

For more than a year, Seneca and Cayuga counties in upstate New York have been forced to pay most of the legal fees involved in defending themselves against lawsuits claiming massive amounts of land there for the Oneida Indian Nation. (The defense is not really a matter of principle or sovereignty: if the Indians won, the land could no longer be taxed by state and local authorities.) The state government has steadfastly refused to reimburse those expenses, citing an opinion issued by the state attorney general's office that no statute allows it. Suddenly (now that he is running for governor) Attorney General Eliot Spitzer has changed his mind and says state law does permit tax money to be used to buy votes for him — I mean, to pay those legal costs.

Vote-fraud artist gets slap on the brain

In 2001, Michelle Robinson worked for Operation Big Vote, a scheme to increase black voter participation in St. Louis. She has now pleaded guilty to 13 election-law violations — virtually all voter fraud today involves Negroes — as well as possession of crack cocaine. Some idiot circuit judge has sentenced the woman to probation and community service, and ordered her to take courses in transcendental meditation.

Judge not

In March, Massachusetts Family Court Judge Mary McCauley Manzi issued an order for prior restraint of a book. In that intemperate tome, titled Exposing the Corruption in the Massachusetts Family Court, author Kevin Thompson blasts the system as "anti-father" and devotes an entire chapter to the antics of a certain Judge Mary McCauley Manzi — what a coincidence! Her Honor claims the heavy-handed censorship, which aims to impound copies of the book until the year 2021, violates the "privacy rights" of Thompson's 4-year-old son, on whom she has practiced her legal legerdemain.

May 10, 2006

© 2006 Douglas Olson. All rights reserved.
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