THE LAST DITCH -- Douglas Olson — FREAK SHOW #25


Freak show #25
Legal freakery


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"God works wonders now and then: Behold! A lawyer and an honest man."

— Benjamin Franklin

"I have a dream"

Possibly with the intent to celebrate Martin Luther King Day (or Black Monday, as I prefer to call it) in a way that would truly honor the spirit of St. Martin, a Negro attorney was caught stark naked on January 15 in a Philadelphia courthouse conference room with a 14-year-old girl. Larry Charles, 49, a criminal-defense lawyer, "had asked for sex," said a police department spokesman, but there was "no physical contact we're aware of by the time the deputy arrived at the scene." Although it was a holiday, the courthouse was open for use by attorneys.

Justice à la Chappaquiddick

The Bristol County (Massachusetts) district attorney has dropped drunk-driving charges against Suzanne Magaziner, a "politically connected socialite" who twice blew .12 on a Breathalyzer test — far above the legal limit of .08. The hopelessly compromised prosecutor claimed lamely that he could not get reports on the accuracy of the machine. Just coincidentally, of course (wink!), Suzanne's husband is former Clinton White House aide Ira Magaziner, against whom a federal judge sought perjury charges in the 1990s for his defense of Hillary's health-care lawbreaking. More recently, the Magaziners were key fund-raisers for new Massachusetts governor Deval Patrick (D), a race-obsessed, white-hating Negro.

Outrage against Diversity!

A Georgia jury has found an Ethiopian guilty of aggravated battery and cruelty to children because he mutilated the genitals of his 2-year-old daughter in an ancient African ceremony. Khalid Adem's attorney contended that his client was innocent and the girl's mother, who is from South Africa, or her relatives must have been responsible. (Apparently the whole famn damily has invaded our shores — another Diverse blessing for America!) After half a lifetime of hearing endless official pronouncements that "all cultures are equally valid," we now discover that some narrow-minded prosecutors are shockingly "insensitive" to some African traditions.

It takes a Negro

Now comes Joshua Bush of Texas, 17, who has retained an attorney to fight efforts by Jefferson County prosecutors to remove a bullet from his (Bush's) forehead, on the grounds that it would violate his civil rights. According to police, Bush tried to shoot a local businessman, who happened to be a competitive pistol shooter and nailed the Negro right between and two inches above the eyes. But the 9mm bullet failed to penetrate Bush's thick skull and remains embedded there (seriously — there are photos on the Internet). Loudly proclaiming his innocence even as he remains in jail for robbery, Bush has agreed to the operation — only if prosecutors will promise not to pursue charges of attempted capital murder. Two judges have issued search warrants, but local hospitals refuse to perform the procedure.

Evading the stench

Members of the Association of Trial Lawyers of America (ATLA) have voted to change the organization's name to the American Association for Justice (AAJ) — naturally for a very devious reason. According to a pair of national polls and some focus-group research sponsored by the Institute for Legal Reform (a subsidiary of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce), the ATLA name received a distinctly "unfavorable" response, while the majority viewed the new name favorably. When told that the AAJ was really a euphemism for trial lawyers, focus groups were reported to be "aghast."

Blind compassion

Ruling that U.S. money discriminates against the blind, a federal judge has ordered the United States to make its various currency denominations easier to differentiate by touch. The change won't only cost untold billions of federal tax dollars but will also impose a cost on the vending-machine industry of as much as $300 million to retrofit every bill-changing machine in the country, according to an industry trade association. (Conspiracy mavens will also see this as a trick to confiscate all currency now in circulation and replace it with new bills that will be "trackable" by the government, bills that might even whisper a subliminal mantra of "You love Big Brother" into the ears of susceptible boobs and play the "Internationale" while their owners sleep.)

To be fair, though, this is not Judge James Robertson's fault, even though he is a Clinton appointee. He didn't make up this disaster out of whole judicial cloth, but instead is adhering to the letter of the Rehabilitation Act, through which congressional idiots authorized a blank check to ensure that "no qualified individual with a disability in the United States shall be excluded from, or denied the benefits of, or be subject to discrimination under" any federal program or activity.

The sacred right to sue

Niklas Lindgren, who has been sentenced to 14 years in prison for a series of rapes in Sweden, is now suing the police of the town of Umeå for damage to his car during their investigation. Authorities cut a seatbelt for a test of bloodstains to determine whether they matched one of the rape victims, and Lindgren is seeking 1,824 kronor (about $259) in compensation.

That Jewish passion for justice

  A ritzy private Jewish school in New Jersey has agreed to pay $1.3 million to settle charges that it abused the National School Lunch Program — which is supposed to subsidize meals for "needy" children. The all-male Lakewood Cheder School took more than $950,000 in illegal school-lunch money between 1996 and 2000 — and the press did not report on amounts taken after the turn of the millennium. The school served meals at more than 90 private homes, which it claimed were for pre-school kids. Lakewood Cheder, of course, admitted no wrongdoing in the settlement, leaving it free to abuse this and other federal programs in the future.

  After forging a power-of-attorney document, a heavily Jewish cabal of New Yorkers stole a half-million-dollar house from a woman dying of cancer. According to police, Nathen Farkas forged the paper, which was notarized by Jerry Brauner, a 53-year-old rabbi already on probation for sexual abuse of a 15-year-old boy. That gave Russell Pitt control of the house, which he sold to a fourth conspirator, Winston Roche, for $476,000 — and all four split those proceeds, leaving Roche's mortgage lender holding the bag. Brauner was also charged with lying about his pedophile convictions when applying for a notary license.

February 13, 2007

© 2007 Douglas Olson. All rights reserved.
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