That truth should be silent I had almost forgot.
Antony and Cleopatra,  Act 1, Scene 2

Unsilent Truth
March 7, 2017

The flowering of Women’s Day


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March 8 is International Women's Day, a "global day celebrating the social, economic, cultural and political achievements of women. The day also marks a call to action for accelerating gender parity."

It is celebrated throughout the world, and in many countries it is even a day for not working, which seems to me to be an odd way of celebrating achievements, but there you have it.

After all, the day is a complete fraud, and it is not officially observed in countries that have retained a marginal amount of sanity. (Just try to imagine what March 8 would be like this year if Hillary Clinton had won the election.)

Why do I say it is a fraud? Well, because ... ummm ... (okay — in for a penny, in for a pound) ...

... there are no social, economic, cultural, or political achievements of women.

There are only the social, economic, cultural, and political achievements of individual women. And it is an impertinence for the rest of the gentle sex to attempt to claim them. The collectivist absurdity is patent.

Neither I nor any of my male friends has ever, to my knowledge, attempted to claim that Dante's or Aristotle's or St. Francis's achievements reflect well on us. The Moon landing is not my accomplishment. Neither is the invention of vaccine, or the symphony, or cursive writing. Maybe the infinitude of Prime Numbers was not the discovery of Euclid, but it was certainly not the discovery of the people who lived on Euclid Avenue in my home town. Maybe heavier-than-air flight was not first accomplished by the Wright brothers, but it was certainly not first accomplished by the Smothers Brothers.

We can celebrate the achievement of others as our own insofar as they delight us and show us of what we ourselves may be capable, but in doing so, we must acknowledge that when we look at history there are many signs of deeds of which we are also capable, and from which we must shrink.

Moreover, Women's Day does not wish to look at women. It wishes to look only at Some Women, and pretend that those women somehow impart greatness on the others. A true Women's Day would acknowledge that women are as capable of evil and stupidity as men are. It would inspire both pride and humility. A difficult combination, I admit, but such is life.

And when I say, it wishes to look only at Some Women, I am not just thinking of the criminals and madwomen that it excludes. It excludes also Dead White Women. I could be a little more appreciative of a Women's Day that included in its observance a celebration of, oh, let's say, Isabella I of Castile. Or Queen Mary I. Or St. Joan of Arc. Or St. Elizabeth of Hungary.

Or Boudica. Now there's a girl after my own heart. (Ooops. I guess I shouldn't say "girl.")

But the real tattle-tale in Women's Day is the way women expect men to respond to it. We're not supposed to sing encomia to Women. Or even to, say, Mary Godwin. Or to that woman of whom no image exists except on U.S. coins. Oh, no, my friends. The heroism of the distaff is not what should be foremost in your mind.

Which means, guys, if you have some relationship with a non-American woman — especially a woman from Europe or from one of the countries formerly part of the Soviet Union — you will not get away with getting her a recording of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir singing "I Am Woman." Or "Hang on the Bell, Nellie." You can forget that.

You will have to get her ...

... flowers.

You thought Valentine's Day was a pay day for the florists? Well, only a mere three weeks later, you have to do it all again.

Because sensible women don't really want to be adored as though they were Benazir Bhutto or Rosie the Riveter. Or even Madeleine Albright. They want to be adored like a Ziegfeld Girl. Wives don't want garden implements or even kitchen implements. They want what ballerinas want — an ostentatious bouquet. And God bless 'em for it.

So much for accelerating "gender" parity. Ω

March 7, 2017

Published in 2017 by WTM Enterprises.

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