January 13, 2022
More short takes
By EDWARD MORRISON MORLEY
Editors note: Mr. Morley resumes his wildly popular column for those with short attention spans, though unlike President Biden, he actually knows what day it is and where he is ... more or less. The quasi-pun in the title is intentional.
1. Fantastic News! TLD is increasingly becoming a media voice to contend with. After TLDs daring, provocative, but fair publication on
January 10of the first Short Takes, discussing Indias banning of foreign donations to Mother Teresas mission group, the Hindoo regime has backed off, according to a note in the Wall Street Journal, January 10,2022. While instantly knuckling under to the scalding floodlight of exposure in TLD, Indias Ministry of Home Affairs didnt say what prompted the reversal and didnt respond to inquiries. Wonder why? Why does baloney avoid the meat grinder?
2. More news that could be news! The WSJ reported
January 10,2022: Omicron Cases Reported Near Beijing Ahead of Olympics in the neighboring village of Tianjin. Tianjins 14 millionpeople will be routinely checked as part of Chinas zero tolerance toward COVID-19, hewing to a blueprint of lockdowns and mass testing to smother any potential outbreaks. This is in keeping with Chinas zero tolerance policies toward a whole bunch of other things including civil liberties, religious liberties, in fact liberties of any kind at all, which are dealt with through a blueprint of lockdowns, lockups, and smothering anyone who thoughtlessly or deliberately shows any interest in liberty. The successful Chinese COVID policies were last applied in Xian, a city of some 13 millionwhich has been locked down (including confining residents to their homes) since December 23,2021. Since then, stories have emerged of residents running short of food, being denied access to medical care, and engaging in physical altercations with authorities. (Physical altercations in Washington, D.C., are called insurrections or riots. Like the residents of Xian, the Washington revolutionaries were unarmed.)
3. Quick Quiz: what are the names of the two most widely used COVID-19 vaccines used in the U.S. of A.? Pfizer? Moderna? If you chose one of those, go to the back of the class. According to the WSJ,
January 10,2022, p. A1, the brand name of the Pfizer shot is Comirnaty, and of the Moderna shot Spikevax.
4. New Law Allows Noncitizens to Vote, the WSJ for
January 10,2022, tells us. But keep your shirt on: the 800,000 new votes in New York City that were enfranchised on January 9when NYCs common sense new Mayor Eric Adams allowed it to go into effect wont get to vote in other than city elections. And who is to say that these non-citizens arent better-informed than citizen voters in NYC? How could they not be?
5. Orange Man seems to have been little damaged by his ouster from social media, according to a WSJ story of
January 10,2022: Ban Hasnt Hurt Trump, Social Media. Social media (Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube) have been able to brag that they consigned Orange Man to perdition. At the same time, Facebook and Alphabet (Google) have sold his political action committees more than $2 millionin ads during the past year. On the other hand, Orange Mans gap between favorable and unfavorable has fallen to 9 pointsas compared to nearly 20 pointsa year ago. Hmmm. Maybe not being able to issue his daily tweets has helped him. Meanwhile, his own social media platform, TRUTH Social, is expected to launch on White Racist Politicians Day (formerly Presidents Day), February 21.
6. Remember when the ChiCom gummints anti-corruption watchdog accused Walmart of being stupid and shortsighted? Remember when your humble correspondent highlighted that in his last installment? Boy, did they prove prescient: Walmart Cited over Cybersecurity, the WSJ for
January 7,2022 tells us. By golly, Walmart is found to have violated Chinas cybersecurity law no fewer than 19 times by the State Administration for Market Regulation. (Why dont we have an outfit like that? Elizabeth Warren, call your office.) The SAMR also alleged that from 2017 to 2020, Walmart violated laws related to food, health products, advertising, and customers rights multiple times and had to be punished in accordance with relevant laws. Hah! Those of you who doubt that rights and law exist in the Peoples Republic of China, take that!
7. Meanwhile in the Peoples Republic of Oceania, Pepsi and Coke are going all out in the booze business, according to this WSJ story appearing
January 7,2022: Coca-Cola Adds Fresca to Mix of Canned Cocktails. Coke had already rolled out, last year, something called Topo Chico hard seltzer in cahoots with Molson-Coors. Based on the premise that more than 50 percentof Frescas consumers already mix it with spirits, Coke will soon start marketing Fresca Mixed in cooperation with the company that makes Modelo and Corona beer. (So thats how one makes Fresca palatable.) Earlier, Pepsi announced an alcoholic variety of Mountain Dew in partnership with Boston Beer Co (apparently MDs high caffeine content isnt enough for todays hip consumers). They face competition from Anheuser-Busch InBevs Bud Light hard soda, which appears on shelves this month in cola, cherry cola, orange, and lemon-lime versions. (What? No beer-flavored version? BTW, TLD TV viewers who are still sober will recall the incredibly inane ad campaign for hard Bud Light recently disgracing the airwaves.) The market for this stuff doubled in 2021 to $741 million.Apparently these guys think theres a good deal more stimulus cash out there, and, of course, with the Biden economy humming along there are quite a few people who will want to drink their sorrows away.
8. Worried about being run over by a car driven by some hard-soda-soused idiot? Never fear! Tesla Has Full Self Driving Competitors, blares the WSJ for
January 7,2022. GM, BMW, Mercedes, Honda, Audi, Volkswagen, Nissan, and Chinas Geeley (whose EV brand is the riveting Zeekr) are all hot on Teslas trail. The Journal suggests driverless cars for consumers could come around 2025 with taxis and commercial vehicles coming earlier. Now you only need to worry about being hit by some hands-free idiot. Better to follow Strakons lead and stay at home in your bunker. [Authentically genuine and genuinely authentic editors note: Truer words were never written! N.S.]
9. ... Where (i.e., said bunker) you can keep in touch with the outside world using your new foldable smartphone. Yes, according to the WSJs story on
January 7,2022, Samsung Bets That 2022 Will Finally Be the Year for Folding Phones, the Korean giant thinks consumers will finally go for their $1,000 and $1,800 foldable phones. I know Strakon can hardly wait to get his hands on one ... if they deliver to the TLD bunker. The piece seems to have been written, however, just so the author could conclude with this: Samsung will surely hope it is finally the year to flip the flop in foldables. Ouch.
January 13, 2022
Published in 2022 by WTM Enterprises.
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